So I just get home from school right, fixed a thang of red Kool-aid put in the fridge to get cold while I’m doin’ my homework right, I come back in less than 30 and somebody done drank up all the damn Kool-aid! Then they left the empty pitcha in the fridge. That’s bogus! So I go asks my brotha, “JD, did you drank up all the Kool-aid?” “What Kool-aid? I thought we didn’t have no suga.” He sayz. I know wasn’t nobody in the house but me, him and 40oz. 40 don’t drank no Kool-aid ’cause he’s a dog! “Let me smell yo breath then?” “What punk, I sayz I didn’t drank no Kool-aid git the hell away from me.” I know he did it, ’cause I saw the cup he was tryna hide by his foot. And it had something red in it. I’ll just go back to finishing’ up my homework. ‘Cause I’m not gonna be like my dumb ass family. I’m gonna graduate and then I’m gonna work for this telemarketing place, they make like $8.00 a hour.
Growing up in a household of seven ain’t no fun, four bad ass kids and two hood ass grown-ups. We have to share everything. So havin’ something of your own never happens. All us boys share a bedroom and the girls share a room but they got mo’ space. It’s bad enough our folks ain’t never around, and all my brotha and sistahs are lazy ass Kool-aid stealin’ punks. But when you make something to drink you should be the one gettin’some of it. Oh yea, I’m Alize’ Fontane’ Washington 18 and still in the 12th grade. I flunked twice so what! JD don’t even have his GED or nothing and Champagne is still in the 8th grade. Yeah we all named after almost every ghetto ass alcohol known to man. It’s fucked up I know, but my folks, Alexia and “Black” Andre Washington, are ghetto as hell. They thought it would be cool if they named all they kids after the thing they loved the most: drinkin’. Jackson Daniels, JD for short, 19. Me, I’m next, Alize’ Fontane’ 18, Alexia thought it was “sooooo cute” to use the apostrophe. Which she can’t even spell, and she didn’t even know the name ’till somebody on TV said it. She kept called it “that loop thang”. Then it’s Hennessy Moât 17, Brandy Mas’on 16, and Champagne denae 14. Three boys and two girls, but our folks are like big kids anyways. So it’s seven of us all. I go back to finishin” up my homework cause I’m not gonna be like my dumb ass family.
I’m gonna graduate and then I’m gonna work for this telemarketing place, they make like $8.00 a hour. “Boy what’d I tell you ’bout leavin’ yo’ book sack by the door?!” That’s “Black Andre” yellin’ at me as soon as he get in the house. He calls everything a sack and not bag. We don’t call our folks mom and dad, we call them by they name ’cause they said so. In this neighborhood it’s like six Andres’ so to know which one is who we give them a tag name, kinda. Like Andre next door we call him “Next door Andre”. Andre with the limp we call him “broke leg Andre” See nobody knows people last names and if they did they still wouldn’t use it and what if somebody has your same last name too? Our Andre is know as “Black” Andre ’cause well, I think you get it by now. “Boy you hear me!” sayz “black” Andre. “Hey guy I’m tryna finish my homework.” “Boy I don’t give a devils’ ass what cha tryna do move this here sack ‘way from the door!” “Ok, dang” I sayz gettin’ up and movin’ my bag. “Alize Fontane!” Alexia screams “Boy why didn’t you wait for’ your sistah after school, she had to walk home by herself.” This is why I can’t get out of the 12th grade; I can’t never finish my homework at home. “Who, Champagne? She was wit her friends” “I don’t care who she wit you suppose to wait and come home together.” “I wasn’t wit no friends I was waitin’ on Zay, he just didn’t wanna walk wit me.” Champagne sayz in her whiney baby voice that make me wanna smack her. “Don’t you leave her again.” “Dang she old nuff walk home by herself, why I gotta.” ‘Cause I sayz SO!” Alexia told me wit her neck rollin’ and finger pointin’. “Ok, dang, can I finish my homework now, dang. I got up and went to the kitchen and sat at the table. Why her school got to be right next to mine? Why can’t Henny wait for her? Dang!!! They so ghetto they don’t even know it.
We don’t have no computer so it makes it more harder to git done fast. I can’t even make no more Kool-aid ’cause we don’t have no more suga. And this is how I know for fact that JD dranked up the last pitcha ’cause he knows wasn’t no mo’. Dang he greedy drankin’ up a whole thang like that by himself. I’m almost done, just two pages left I’ll finish 2morrow.
I’m so glad I didn’t have to be at school ’till ten on. ‘Cause ain’t no 2nd period Mr. Smith no never shows up. We always have a sub so I quit goin’. I didn’t have to be at school ’till 3rd period. I slept ’till nine, washed up got dressed. I knew today was gonna be good ’till I went to the kitchen to git some Capt’N Crunch git this: somebody eat all the damn cereal, then put the box back in the cabinet! I go to my sister Brandy’ cause she the only other person there. She thinks she’s sooo smart just ’cause she’s in her right grade. “Brandy why you eat up all the Capt’N Crunch?” I sayz. “I didn’t not eat up all the Capt’em crunch, and don’t botha me about no nonesense on the matter.” She Sayz. I hate when she talks all uppidy like she betta than me. I don’t have to use big words like that to talk to people I keeps it real. “Stop lying girl! You know you did it, God don’t like liars”. “God doesn’t not like you, ’cause you think you soaphicated, but you aren’t not classy. You eat spaghetti on the front porch like everybody else.” “So ain’t nothing wrong with eating on the porch that’s what porches are for” She just laughed at me and walked away. But it looked like she was hidin’ a bowl under her books. Dang these people are so triffin’. I at lest leave the box on the table so they’ll know it’s all gone. These people don’t have no matters.
Now I’m in class 4th period is almost over then lunch and I’m hungrier than a hostage. There’s the bell. I’ll be so damn happy when I’m finished with this school. I’m tired of the same o’ people and drama. “Yo Zay! Wait up!” “What’s up man, where you been, did you come home last night?” “Yeah I was there when you got home from school.” sayz Hennessy. Me and Henny are in the same grade even thought he’s a year younger than me. Him and brandy are the smartys in the family “I didn’t see you.” “I was in the room, hey sorry ’bout the Kool-aid I was thirty, I was going to make some mo’ but we ain’t got no suga.” “What!! I thought JD dranked it” “Hahaha, I know that was some funny shit. I fo’got to move my cup then I heard you yellin’ at him soo.” “You ate up all the damn cereal this mornin’ too didn’t you?” “Damn I love havin’ brotha and Sistahs!” He sayz then hugs me and runs down the hall. “I’m gonna beat yo’ punk ass, when you git home!” I yelled after him.
7th period, I’m in Study hall. I’m finishin’ up my paper just a paragraph or two left. If I do it now I ain’t gotta do it at home. It’s always too much going on at home anyway. Done, with time to spare. Now for the title. See we had to write a paper ’bout family. My crazy ass family no that’s not a good title, how ’bout the ghetto ass Washington family. Now that ain’t only funny its true hahaha. Naw, I got it: Who drank all the damn Kool-aid: A ghetto story. By Alize Washington.
It ain’t over..