Hello again readers. Recently I’ve discovered that through years of experience, I’ve become an expert ear lender, giver of advice, shoulder to cry on and silent observer when it comes to the dramatic and tortured love lives of my friends. With my own love life being a mess, it’s a pleasant break from reality to immerse myself in someone else’s romantic drama. This has become even truer during my junior year of college. One by one, my friends are trading in drunken Red Lion dance floor make-outs and monthly STD checks for movie nights and cuddling. Yup, they are bunkering down into relationships. With this sudden influx on my radar, I’ve been able to study the varying degrees of success among these new relationships. I pass no judgment; I will never know the thoughts that go on in the minds of my friends. All that I’ve concluded is that for a relationship to last, it must be gotten into for the right reasons.
It is only human nature to look for love. However, that does not entail looking for a relationship. Though not true for all college students, many of us are noticing that with everyone else finding their “better half,” it’s about time we do the same. You want to go out and have a wild night on the town, but all of your former going out buddies seem to already have a date night planned with their significant other. They seem blissfully happy in the state of young love, and you suddenly feeling a yearning to settle down yourself. You want to fit in.
Or perhaps it’s just loneliness that causes people to go on the hunt. That yearning to feel close to someone and to feel loved. The possibility that a boyfriend or girlfriend will fill the void in your life that you’ve been looking to close; you’ll finally have someone to keep you warm at night. From what I’ve discovered, these reasons for getting into a relationship are often the same as settling. Whether you get in a relationship with your consistent booty call that you have nothing in common with, a douchey frat boy with a shady call log, that boy that adores your every move but you find yourself feeling indifferent to, or your dangerous ex; the outcome is never good.
I guess what I’m saying is I believe it’s true when they say: “Good things come when you aren’t looking for them.” When you least expect it, you’ll find that person who does more than fill the job of designated date night partner or warm blanket at night. They will understand you: your thoughts, motions and kinks. The conversation will flow effortlessly and your happiness will become their own. They will be your best friend, the person you can share all your thoughts and adventures with. The word “settle” will never come to mind. The only and most important reason you are together is because you can’t imagine—and you don’t want to imagine—a life without them in it. If you have to spend some nights alone while your friends enjoy Cocomero dates or walks through the quad, so be it. There’s more to life than being in a relationship and I promise you that there are few feelings more fulfilling than figuring out what makes you feel happy and whole when you’re on your own. While your friends go in and out of their own melodramatic, fleeting relationships, you’ll be happy on your own knowing that whenever you do get in a relationship, no matter how far down the line that may be, it will be for all the right reasons.