I work with an incredible staff at buzz. This is obvious to the most casual reader but damn, it bears written recognition once or twice in a blue moon. The writers and editors at this magazine consistently kill it, though this week in particular they left me floored.

Melisa and Eli cranked out three video interviews with the summer artists in residence at Figure One, Christine held a thought-provoking discussion with esteemed music critic Jessica Hopper and Josh wrote one of the most heartfelt album reviews I’ve ever read, which was less a review and more a reflection on outgrowing the things that, at one point in time, we loved the most.

And like any powerful piece of writing, his reflections inspired my own. So as played out as it might sound, I’ve been thinking about the things I used to love. The progression from obsessive fondness to unfeeling or (at best) nostalgic distance happens so naturally that it often goes unnoticed until long after the fact. Earlier this week, I played a song that I adored as a teenager, a song that I was emotionally and almost spiritually bound to for years. I still knew ever lyric and inhale, could pinpoint each chord change, yet I felt nothing.

This is, in the grand scheme of things, just one song by one band. But my ability to say and believe that shows how much I’ve distanced myself from it; four years ago, that song was an essential part of who I was.

I think this is categorized as “maturing;” I also think this categorization is lacking something. Getting older is one thing, but moving beyond the mediums by which you understood your identity is something else. People anecdotally spout that “tastes change but people stay the same” – but that’s not actually true, is it? The part of myself that interpreted life through the lyrics by Bob Nanna has been gradually erased. That’s life, and though it’s probably a good thing that I now am disconnected from brooding emo songs, it’s sad.

This is an uncomfortable but necessary topic for 20-somethings to navigate, and I’m happy to work with people who inspire me to do that.

About The Author

Anwen Parrott

I'm Anwen! I'm the Editor-in-chief of buzz. I study English and Sociology and love buzz (a lot). aparrot2@illinois.edu.

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